Friday, January 21, 2011

happy new year!

Hey people!

It's a new year. Everyone's making their resolutions. A lot of fitness people get frustrated with the new-years-resolution crowd, but I don't mind it. Partially because I AM a part of that crowd again this year? Maybe. But really, I think it's better to try, give up, go back to your old ways, and then try again come the new year then to try, give up, and figure it's not worth it. Or try, give up, and then get intimidated by the fitness people who are so frustrated with the NYR crowd and just forget it.

Of course it's best to just try once and DO IT all the time, but who does that?!?! Fitness people. Who get frustrated with the NYR crowd. Which makes me wonder if the frustration comes from a secret fear of being that person, that person who has been healthy, has backslid (backslidden? backslided?), and now needs to get back on track. On New Years Day. Whatever. I'm no shrink. And of course, it's slightly less-good, but still better, to try, fall, try again with the very next food/fitness decision you have to make, and not wait until tomorrow/Monday/the new year. But really. Let's take what we can get!

Anyway, as part of my own journey, I joined up with a group of women in my area who are doing a weight-loss competition. I'm not hugely competitive, but if it involves competing with myself I can totally get behind it. More about that later. So I joined up, went to get weighed, and--congratulations, me!!!--weighed 171.5!! That is exactly what I weighed 3 years ago, right before I went vegan and lost all that weight!!! WOW! I'm SPECTACULAR!!!! I'm back where I STARTED!!!

So, I cried on the way home and was bummed out all day. I walked around in a fog, feeling all pity-party-ish. Then I pulled myself together and looked at my options:
  1. I could say, "Eff this man!", give up, and gain a thousand pounds on brownies and ice cream. But I didn't want to do that. I have goals that necessitate being healthy. More about that later too.
  2. I could go vegan again, which I would actually really like--I felt so light and healthy. But then I end up eating different dinners than the rest of my (hard-core carnivore) family, and that kind of goes against what we teach the girls about eating what we serve them, and not being short-order cooks. It worked before, because I was working at night and they never knew what I had for dinner because I took it with me. Plus, trying to grocery-shop for two different eating styles is hard, and not easy on a tight budget.
  3. I could plan out a way to eat that wouldn't depress me, would work with my family's goals and budget, would set a good example for my children, and would fuel my workouts, which I would increase and actually plan and write out.
I chose number 3, as I'm sure you figured out. I'm still working on it. I've said in the past that eating "everything in moderation" doesn't work for me, because if I have a little chocolate, I'm going to have a lot of chocolate. But I'm trying to change that attitude, because when I tell myself I "can't have" this and that and this, I do well for a while and then dive headfirst off the deep end and gorge myself until I...well, until I gain back everything I lost, apparently. ;)

I mentioned in my last post (if I remember correctly; it's been a while, huh?) that I'm tracking my food intake on and I still am, but I have to be more faithful. Like, if I'm doing ok, and tracking as I go, and then I eat a quarter of my husband's birthday cake? I'll just stop tracking for the day. I need to not do that!!

I need to create some visual inspirational aids. Like, I just read on FB that one of the Biggest Loser guys writes his goal weight on his arm. I kinda think that's a good idea...but then, he lives on the BL ranch and doesn't have to explain to strangers at the grocery store why there's a big 140 or whatever on his forearm. I need stuff like that to look at and remind myself why I can't dont' want to eat half a pan of brownies. With frosting. And milk. Because it's easy to be inspired on January 1. It's harder, for me, on Jan 19. Or, really, pick a date. So yes, I will be making some visuals. Any suggestions, like the arm tattoo, are welcome.

OK! I have a lot more to write about, including the things I told you I'd write more about! But alas, I shall save that for another post. Promise it won't be long.