I'm sorry but...well, there's no easy way to say this. I need a break.
It's not a breakup! Just a break. I just...see, Cheese, you and I had a real good thing going after I came back to you after that whole "vegan" thing blew over. I don't think I'm going over there again, but I can't say for sure. What I do know is, well...Zumba Instructor Convention is in two weeks and well Cheese, how can I say this gently? You make me gain weight faster than a two-month-old heifer.
Now, don't feel bad. I'm calling it off with Bean Dip, Sour Cream, and Avocado too.
I know, I know, we've had some good times together. Remember when we got together, you, me, Bean Dip, Sour Cream, Tortilla, Salsa, and Margarita? You melted all nice and held Tortilla together...I dunked you in Bean Dip and Salsa and Sour Cream...Margarita just topped you all off so nicely...I haven't seen much of her lately either. I know, I can't stay away from any of you for long. But be honest: you know you're no good for me.
You might still see Salsa around. I don't know. He isn't too fun by himself, but most of our old gang is just no good for me now. Try not to give him a hard time; he means well. Provides for me, with all his veggie goodness...and a little spice...
You'll remember me, won't you, Cheese? When you're surrounded by my husband and my kids, you won't forget how much fun we used to have?
I'll miss you.