Friday, December 03, 2010
Sunday, November 07, 2010
I sure do love to eat.
But balance--you know, that all-important, energy-in, energy-out balance--well, it isn't really my thing. Hence the 20 pounds I have gained in the last year and a half.
When I was at my smallest (and still thought I was SO FAT and still cried when I looked in the mirror sometimes, oh it pains me to say that now, why do I have better body image now than I did 20 pounds ago??) I was this close to being within a healthy range of weight for my height.
My height: 5-foot-2. I know. I am shortness.
My healthy-weight range, according to BMI: 101 to 136 pounds.
My lowest weight, post-children: 143.
That is 7 stinkin pounds away.
Now I'm back up to 161 and I don't fit in any of my clothes and blah blah blah and OMG and cry cry cry and dieting sucks and FML (not a lot, I really do have better body image these days, but, y'know, everyone has those days where it all seems so futile...) but never fear! I am relentless in my pursuit of bikini-readiness in 2011!!
And now, my sweet, loving, supportive fellow instructor and BFF is here to help! She's tracking my progress with the MyPlate feature at livestrong.com for me, which is supercool, because if I have to tell someone what I'm eating then, well, I'm a little less likely to scarf down that extra piece of Halloween candy. I just love her!
I do have to say that something about the site, and how it relies on calorie counting, has not lent itself to a very healthy diet, for me at least. I can eat whatever I want, as long as I stay within my formulated calorie count for the day, based on my weight, my losing goals, and my base level of activity (which, I have to tell you, is alarmingly low. If I'm not teaching a class, I am sitting on my rear end in some form. At the computer, playing with Bek, driving in the car...it all amounts to sitting on my butt). And when I teach classes, I enter it in to the site and it subtracts those calories I burned from the total that I've eaten!
Isn't that cool? It's like a game! How much activity can I do so that I can eat whatever the heck I want?? See that chocolate bar? See that ice cream? See that cheese??? I can have it all as long as I work it off!!! Yesterday was a pretty prime example of this: I taught two classes and went to another, for a grand total of 210 minutes of Zumba class. I burned a whole day's allowance of calories. So, on the way home, I stopped at McDonald's and ate a whole day's allowance of calories.
Hey, don't judge me. For your information, I wanted something healthy! But it was late and I was on the highway and that's all there was! It was so good... ;)
So yeah...not sure if that's the right attitude. But you know I hate dieting, and it depresses the hell out of me to think I have to eat a certain frickin way for the rest of my frickin life. It really does seem to be working; I don't eat crap at every meal. It's like, as long as I know I can have something I love, I enjoy the healthy stuff too.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
- to inspire.
- to go to Zumba Convention next year.
- to go to Zumba Club Med next year.
- to buy a whole new wardrobe. In a size 4.
- to grow my hair long again.
- to cut it all off after that and donate it so someone will wear a wig with my hair, which is weird but also awesome.
- to someday have a studio of my very own.
- to make a significant contribution to my family's income doing what I love.
- to go back to school.
- to mentor girls and young women.
- be a leader in my field--someone other instructors turn to.
- do 30 pushups in a row.
- get back to drawing and writing and maybe...acting.
- try roller derby.
- serve God and be unapologetic in my faith.
- teach my children the things they won't learn in school. Like how to balance a checkbook. OK, maybe their dad will have to teach them that one.
- give up the notion of "what I'm going to be when I grow up", because growing up is a process and not a destination and I am a person and not an endpoint or a checklist.
- get cranky sometimes and need a time out.
- use exercise as a serious venting mechanism.
- try lots of different things, even when it means failing at some.
- cry/yell/jump up and down, as long as I don't hurt anyone else.
- be less-than-perfect.
- be completely myself.
- lose some friends and make some new ones.
- call my mom just because I know she loves me no matter how stupid I'm being.
- spend a whole day in my PJs snuggling with my family.
- use lots of creamer in my coffee even if it means losing weight more slowly.
- drive 4 hours to take a class with my favorite instructor.
- wear bright purple cargo pants in public. With pride.
- shower three times in a single day. Or not at all.
- go too long between blog posts...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
In my part of the world, we don't actually say "y'all." We say "you guys." Or, like my grandparents, "youse guys". But for some reason, the older I get, the harder it is to group people into "guys" because really, most of the people I talk to nowadays are women. And I just can't bring myself to say "you ladies" most of the time. I just can't. Saying that makes me feel like I should be drinking tea and wearing a dress and heels and pearls and stuff. I'm a coffee-jeans-chucks kinda girl. "You girls"? Nah...doesn't work either.
So I've been on this diet for about a week and a half. It's going OK. I need to go food shopping again, because I look around my house for something to eat and end up going, "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."
Now, before you start, please don't tell me that it's not about the diet, it's about a way of life or a way of eating. Because really, if I have to think about this as something--a way--that I have to maintain for the rest of my ever-loving life, I will cry. Really. As it is, I can barely think about keeping it up for the entirety of today. I just have to go moment by moment. Decision by decision.
But yeah, it's going OK. And I guess that's all I really want to say about it, because thinking too much about it just makes me want to reach for the nutty bars. Man, I love nutty bars.
So...convention! It was AWESOME! I do not have any pictures of my own to show you, because the settings were all wrong on my camera and it said I only had, like, 12 pictures to take on my memory card, and I figured I'd just get all bent out of shape if I set up to take lots of pictures and then died after just 12. So I didn't bother. Then, on the ride home from the airport, I fiddled with the camera, fixed the settings, and got the thing to say I had something ridiculous like 600 pictures. Nice, right? Nice. But I'm not much of a picture-taker myself anyway, so it's all good. For this post, I will be gratuitously stealing pictures from my friend/roomie. She won't mind, will you Michelle???
|Michelle with Tanya and Gina|
|These were all over the floor in the hotel/convention center. So cool.|
|This is the guitarist from Bachaco. Check them out;they rock.|
So that is the motivation for this diet. Because you know what? The whole time I was at convention, I could have gone in this pool:
Well, partly because it was almost always full of Aqua Zumba trainings.
But also! Because there was no way I was prancing around in front of my Zumba instructor colleagues in a bathing suit! Not even my very cute polka dotted retro suit! No way, no how!
(I will also say that I'm not really much of a swimmer. It just doesn't thrill me like it thrills other people. But really--I would have liked to at least go for a little dunk. And a little hot tub. And a little reading-in-the-sun, poolside.)
So, yes, if I cannot swim with my instructor friends because I am too dang insecure with how I look in a swimsuit, than I really need--an attitude adjustment? Well, yes, because I'm sure there are all kinds of reasons why my current attitude is stupid. But also I need to whip myself into shape. Be a model of what a Zumba body looks like. Yes.
But...Halloween is coming. And with three kids who can really haul in the goods, my house is going to be FILLED with candy.
I think maybe some little gnome is going to come in the middle of the night and flush candy down the toilet. Not all of it. Just the Butterfingers, Snickers bars, Kit-Kats...just the things I find utterly irresistable.
And isn't Halloween candy just a witch? (Hahah get it? Halloween? Witch?) It's so tiny and so individually wrapped. Now, for some people, this is great! because they can just take a little tiny piece, unwrap it, and eat it, and be satisfied!
Not me. HUH-uh.
I eat one. Then I think, that was so tiny, I can just eat another one. Then I repeat that process. Until the bag is gone.
Moderation? Is not my thing.
Which brings me back to the diet. And why I can't stand picturing myself on it forever. When I am trying to eat well, I can't have sweets in the house. At all. Because I devour them. I have to put a total moratorium on anything I like to eat. Good thing for my kids there are lots of things that have no power over me. Oreos? Don't do it for me. Sugar wafers? I just don't understand the appeal. Fruit snacks? Gag me with a spoon. But they love the stuff, so I can still keep a little sumpin sumpin around to toss in their school lunches every once in a while.
So we talked about the diet. We talked about convention. Talked about my motivation for losing weight, as disturbed as it might be. What else?
I'm slowly (so sloooowly) in the process of adding classes. I will continue to look for opportunities in my hometown, so my old students and I can whoop it up. I've had one or two things fall through, and it's taking its toll on my spirit, but I'm still going. It's tough, after three years, to practially start over again. Build up a class base again. Find a reliable place to teach without having to compromise my ideals. (Ideals? Something like that.) My schedule is here, and I'll keep updating it as I go. I also need a part-time job, to pay off some debt we dug ourselves into while I was with the studio. And I am WAY excited about throwing some crazy Zumba Jammer sessions...once the Zumba website for them is up and running. So, things are happening. Just...freaking...slow.
How are YOU? How do you keep your spirits up when diet or body image or circumstances try to drag you down? I pray. A LOT. It helps. Thank God. Like, literally. But I want to hear from you; how is your life??
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I'm fuh-reaking starving and there are exactly 50 minutes and thirty-five seconds until the free continental breakfast at my hotel. So I thought I'd take advantage of the free computer access and type away for a bit...
Zumba Jammer training is today! Very excited. So excited to be part of the first group of Jammers. I think it's going to be a great program. They really haven't told us much about it yet so it will be interesting to find out more details. I can't wait to meet the other Jammers and see who else is in my area, since I haven't really heard about too many Jammers from my little part of the world.
Since I left the airport yesterday (and my kids didn't even cry when I left! I'm so proud of them! Of course, one of them is 11 and way too cool to cry and one of them made sure to know exactly when I'd be home so she could write it on the calendar and count down to it and one of them cried all the way to the airport so by the time we got there she'd apparently gotten it out of her system and OMG I miss them already!) I have peed approximately 362 times. I'm like a freaking puppy, I tell you. Too much excitement.
See the joy of early-a.m. blogging? TMI! Before breakfast!!
I tell myself every time I travel anywhere, and lug around a 50-pound suitcase, and only wear 1/3 of the clothes that I bring, that next time I will pack lighter. I will. I said that over vacation, when we had to drag all that stuff--all that stuff!!!--through the train station, onto the train, off the train, to the condo...it was awful! So I've been telling myself forver that I would not do that to myself again. I would pack light for Convention. I would bring two or three outfits with me and make use of the hotel laundry. Easy peasy. I could probably fit that in my carryon and not even have to check anything.
I'm pretty sure that every. single. piece. of fitness-related clothing I own is currently in my suitcase. Certainly everything that says "Zumba" on it. I wanted to pack lightly. I really did. But how do you know ahead of time what you're going to wear?? What if I'm kind of bloated? Sweats and a baggy shirt. What if, by the end of the week, all that exercise and no-way-I'm-eating-crap-in-front-of-these-skinny-people eating has me looking totally hot? I need my super-cute tiny clothes! What if it's hot? What if it's cold? What if someone runs out of clothes and needs to borrow something from me? What if OMG!! Tanya B.!! wants us to wear something in particular because we're all going on stage together and it's the one thing I own but didn't bring?!?! These are all the things I have to consider!!! So I packed everything! Including three pairs of sneakers!! Because the convention hotel is carpeted how do I know what sneakers are going to work on that particular carpet?!?!
It's OK though; I'm strong.
Grr! This post just isn't taking enough time to write. It's only 6:21 and I'm still starving!!!
*drool grumble drool*
Friday, August 20, 2010
Zumba instructor convention is in just a few short days. I leave on Tuesday, and I'm excited, but I still kind of feel distant about it, you know? I feel like, yup, I'm going, and that's awesome, but it's in the future sometime.
It should hit me that I'm actually going sometime between getting to the airport...and takeoff.
The funny/sad/amusing thing is that I'm no so much excited about convention (although I am, don't get me wrong) as I am excited about having time to myself!! Time to do what I want to do! Putting me first! For someone of my incredible selfishness, this is such a lovely prospect!
I have a whole day in between my Zumba Jammer training on Wednesday and my first day of convention on Friday. A whole, blissful day of nothing planned. And since the hotel is too remote to walk anywhere, I am going to sit my heinie down in a lounge chair with a big, easy, mindless book and a drink and a Costco-sized bottle of sunscreen (although come to think of it, Costco bottles of sunscreen are the same as regular-sized bottles. You just have to buy three or four at a time. Huh.) and do nothing.
Just thinking about it makes me drool a little.
I teach all morning tomorrow, and then I have to spend the rest of the day looking for teaching jobs (anyone need a Zumba instructor? I give a great class, but I'm not the best employee...) so no packing tomorrow. Then Sunday is church and family time. Then Monday is my last day with my kids before I leave. So I dont' know when I'm packing. Or doing laundry so I have clean things to pack.
I just came up with the solution! I won't pack anything!!! I'll just get down there with the clothes on my back, and buy all the new Zumbawear that will be out in the shops! I'll be the best-dressed instructor there!!! I'm a genius!
Oh wait. I'm broke!
Anyway, so I am bringing the camera and will do my best to take pictures, even though I hate taking pictures. I always say I'd rather live the moment than experience it second-hand through a camera lens. But then I always end up wishing later on that I had pics of everything and everyone.
My convo roomie and I were talking about who we'd want to meet while we are there. There's no one I'm dying to meet...but that's because I've already met a lot of people. I want to meet as many people as possible...there just aren't any specific people I will be looking for.
How bout you? Are you going? Are you hoping to meet anyone in particular?
Monday, August 09, 2010
Today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, mamacita!! I'm sorry I called you yesterday and had the kids sing to you...it was very nice of you to not point out that we were a day off!!
My mom is good mom. And she taught me a lot about being a good mom. (As I turn away from the computer screen to yell at my kids to put "things to do" in the car. We have a road trip today. "We're leaving soon! Go do...pre-leaving things!! Get Things to Do! Put them in the car!" In other words, let me write my blog post, gosh darnit. Nice.) She taught me to make one-on-one time with each of my children a priority. She hated to cook and clean but we always had a tidy house and yummy food. She raised me and my sister and brother to be best friends...although that lesson, admittedly, took a while to catch on... She has always been someone we could turn to in tough times for advice and a helping hand.
We kids made her a very young grandmother, and she has always astounded me with the way she balances being there for us when we need it with a firm set of boundaries. Her grandbabies love her to pieces, and even when my girls dont' see her for a while, they're always so excited for the next time they can jump into her arms. And her pool.
My mom is still surprising me. The woman who was never a huge animal lover has two (TWO!) beautiful golden retrievers who take up a lot of her time and attention.
The confessed nature-avoider enjoys staying at a dude ranch--a dude ranch!--and rides horses. Stinky horses!! She even went diving once. Underwater. My mom. In a dive suit. With, like, a helmet and everything. I usually think of myself as pretty adventurous, but you wouldn't catch me underwater in a helmet. A dive mask maybe...but only because my diver husband has been wearing me down the last ten years. I wish I had a picture, just to prove it.
So happy birthday, mom. We'll sing to you again later. I love you.
Friday, August 06, 2010
I'm sorry but...well, there's no easy way to say this. I need a break.
It's not a breakup! Just a break. I just...see, Cheese, you and I had a real good thing going after I came back to you after that whole "vegan" thing blew over. I don't think I'm going over there again, but I can't say for sure. What I do know is, well...Zumba Instructor Convention is in two weeks and well Cheese, how can I say this gently? You make me gain weight faster than a two-month-old heifer.
Now, don't feel bad. I'm calling it off with Bean Dip, Sour Cream, and Avocado too.
I know, I know, we've had some good times together. Remember when we got together, you, me, Bean Dip, Sour Cream, Tortilla, Salsa, and Margarita? You melted all nice and held Tortilla together...I dunked you in Bean Dip and Salsa and Sour Cream...Margarita just topped you all off so nicely...I haven't seen much of her lately either. I know, I can't stay away from any of you for long. But be honest: you know you're no good for me.
You might still see Salsa around. I don't know. He isn't too fun by himself, but most of our old gang is just no good for me now. Try not to give him a hard time; he means well. Provides for me, with all his veggie goodness...and a little spice...
You'll remember me, won't you, Cheese? When you're surrounded by my husband and my kids, you won't forget how much fun we used to have?
I'll miss you.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Only 19 days until I fly down to Orlando for Zumba Instructor Convention !!!! I'm not sure what I'm most excited about:
- Zumba Jammer training, in which I get to spend a whole day training for this program that I'm very excited about with a-hundred-plus other Zumba Jammers who are (I imagine) also very excited. I wonder who is training us. I hope it's, like, a whole team of ZESs. A whole mess of them. And Beto!
- The day AFTER Zumba Jammer training, which will be, for me, a whole day of doing nothing but reading by the hotel pool. I need book suggestions. Send me book suggestions! Preferably in English. Trying to read in Spanish requires too much thinking ("Wait...who cast that spell? Harry? Or Hermione?? Dammit~! I can't tell!! Stupid Spanish...."*) This is my mini-vacation.
- Orlando, Florida in August. I dont' expect to leave the hotel the whole time I'm there...except to go out to the pool. Thank God for whoever invented air conditioning.
- Meeting new people!! You know how it is with facebook and message boards and becoming familiar with people you've never actually met? and then you meet them? and sometimes it's, well, disillusioning...but mostly it's awesome?
- the Zumbathon!!! On one of the promo videos someone calls it a "fitness concert"--"The fitness concert", to be exact--and that's just what it is. SO fun. Can't wait. Will avoid the mosh pit though; I do value my limbs.
- Getting away from the family and classes and facebook and email and church stuff and everything for just a while...
- Sharing a room with a good friend! My friend Michelle and I are rooming together and she is a new instructor and this is her first convention and she is in for a treat!!! I can't wait to see her face. I feel sorry for whoever has to live/work with her in the weeks after we come back. It might be hard getting her to concentrate on anything for a while. Especially if she gets to meet Beto!!!
- Room service. They have room service, right? Til late? And I can order whatever I want? And they'll just bring it to our room??
- Parties. The first year I went I was a bit of a party pooper. Big surprise--it was a treat to be in a hotel room with no kids and actually be able to sleep all I wanted without being awakened at 3 am, opening my eyes to a face two inches from my own face whispering about nightmares or blankets that fell on the floor or needing a drink of water. This year I want to see how much Zumba I can handle on how little sleep! Doesn't that sound fun?? Doesn't that sound like I think I'm 20????? Don't I sound like I'll be in for a surprise??
- Learning as much as possible. Sometimes I get all sad and reminiscent about how big Zumba is getting, and how cool it was when there were just a mere 10,000 of us instructors, and how you knew so many people and how family-like it was...but one big great thing about Zumba becoming bigger is how many more people there are to learn from. We have people who are great at Bhangra-style, hip-hop, flamenco, Axé, Sino, and on and on and on. And let's face it...I could really stand to learn a few new styles!!
- Buying all the new Zumba wear before anyone else. Part of me really thinks it's pretty sly of the Zumba office to constantly put out new collections of clothing and gear so we get so caught up in having the latest fashions...and part of me doesn't care! OMG! Just gimme new stuff!!!
I won't have a computer with me on the trip--I wouldn't have time to use it anyway--so I'm going to do my best to take pictures to share with you when I get back. But I have to warn you; I'm kind of bad at taking pictures. I'd rather live in the moment than fumble for a camera. Well, that, and my picture-taking skills are sorry, sorry, sorry. Way sorry. Growing up I used to get fliers in my pictures that came back from the drugstore that said, "How to take pictures." CVS felt the need to school me, my pictures were so bad.
So, yes. 19 days. And I have to say, that with all these exciting thoughts that come to mind when I think "19 days"...there's also that small part of me that wonders, "Can I lose 19 pounds in 19 days?!?" ;) Fortunately, I am far too undisciplined to try any of the freakishly-fad tricks that might do it... ;)
*This was me, trying to read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, in Spanish, on the train on the way to our family vacation in beautiful South Carolina. It took us 24 hours to get there. I could have read that book in English five times in 24 hours. In Spanish, I got to page 60 and my head hurt. It's a good kind of hurt though. A, "you've been thinking, good for you!" kind of hurt.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Well, I hope you did. I missed you!! Really!!
Lots of stuff went down while I was away. And I'm not just talking about the beetle that just came out of nowhere and landed right on my keyboard right now!! No, I'm talking:
- I opened a fitness studio with a partner.
- I applied for a particular program with Zumba--"Zumba Jammer".
- I registered for Zumba Instructor Convention
- I quit most of my teaching jobs to concentrate on the studio.
- I met some great new people, both at the studio and outside of it.
- Did a couple of Zumba-related road trips.
- Went to South Carolina on vacation with my family. Loved it there!!
- Was accepted to Zumba Jammer program, yay!
- Drank lots of coffee
- Cut off all my hair! Went from this:
11. Left studio
So, I was kinda busy! Not super busy. Like, I could have made time for you if I really wanted. Don't be offended, OK? Sometimes I just need a break. A blogging break, if you will.
Have I mentioned it's quarter past 2 in the morning??
Hey how do you like the new layout? Pretty, no? It reminds me of South Carolina! I really didn't think I was gonna like it there. But I really did. I want to move.
So what have you been up to lately?
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
I have to say, I thought I'd be moving along a little faster than that.
But hey! I'm right in line with my plan of losing a pound a week from now to convention. That's 23 weeks away, so from my current weight of 155 I hope to by 132 by convention.
I haven't weighed so little since college, right before having my first kid! *excited*
So, right on plan. I was very excited to see some changes in the mirror though. My tummy is not so bloated and jiggly, and same with my arms. Matter of fact, I've lost .5" in both my arms and my hips. Not a lot...but noticeable! I can see muscle again. Yay muscle!
Speaking of muscle...dun dun dunnnnn..I should get P90X in a few days. WOO!! Once it hits, I'll be working my keister off to get in crazy-good shape for--you guessed it--convention. I should be able to get in a round and a half by then...
...wonder what it will be like to be totally cut?!...
Seriously, though, I'm having a hard time believing it will work. I mean, I see the testimonials and I know people who have had phenomenal results (phenomenal--that seems to be my word lately...) but I have trouble seeing it working for me. And isn't that--that ability to visualize yourself at the goal--isn't that supposed to be a huge factor in my success?
Maybe I'll take a picture of Jillian Michaels and paste on my head.
Nah...she'd totally kick my butt. ;)
So yes! Very nervous it won't work for me...but also very, very excited it might.
I'll keep you updated on how it goes! As soon as I get it!
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
if my thumbs don't get tired from entering this on my iPhone, I'll add
some songs I'm hoping to learn soon.
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolph & Lil Wayne
Sexy Chick, the David Guetta remix
Tigre, a Zumba Fitness original track
I Need To Know, cover of Marc Anthony, I believe
Zumba Mami, also an original Zumba Fitness track
Slide, a ZF original
Se le Ve
Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti
A la Nena le Gusta
She Wolf - Shakira
Cumbia de Los Muertos
Freeze - T Pain ft. Chris Brown
Oh Africa (Pepsi version) - Akon
Rivers of Babylon / Yele (medley)- Wyclef Jean
And to learn someday:
Turn me Loose - Madcon
Showdown - B.E.P.
El Tiguere - Cuacana
Remedio Pa'l Corazon - Alberto Plaza
Siguelo - Watatah
Locos por Jesus - Tercer Cielo
Tike Tike Kardi -Arash
Ringa Ringa, from Slumdog Millionaire
Estan Bailando - Grupo Ramirez
Cuentale - Ivy Queen
El Trencito - La Banda Loca
Pa' Lo Oscuro - Franco "el Gorila"
-also from el Gorila, Con Swing and Duro
Yo Te Beso (Y Arrapaparapapan) - JN3
Yo Quiero Salsa
Get On - Fay-Ann Lyons Alvarez
Mas Que Tu Amigo - Tito Nieves
La Tempuratura - Ozomatli
OK... Thumbs tired. :)
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
Anyhow, I just wanted to share with you, in case you cared, what I've been eating lately.
- Some basic combination of complex carbs, protein, and fruit, like whole-wheat toast with peanut butter and a banana.
- Coffee with soy milk or almond milk or tea. If it's a Zumba morning (which most mornings are) then it's gotta be coffee for that little extra butt-whoopin capacity.
- Stir fry with rice, veggies, tempeh, tofu, and/or some kind of bean, and spices and lemon juice for flavor. I just started using coconut oil once a day for my stirfry instead of olive oil all the time. It contains saturated fat but has health benefits too. Sometimes (like today) I'll go crazy and add peanut butter to the stir fry or some kind of all-natural, sugar-free sauce. Most days I wilt spinach into it, too. And sometimes I add cashews or toasted almond slices for crunch.
- Seltzer water, tea, or pomegrante juice/seltzer mix
- Leftover lunch because I always make way more than I can eat, or a bowl of all-natural cereal with soy or almond milk. I try to keep it light at night unless I'm teaching a night class.
- I haven't been snacking much, because I've been filling up on lots of protein and fiber with every meal, but when I am hungry I have fruit and nuts or coffee and toast with vegan margarine.
- Sometimes--not every day--I eat a square of Bakers Semi-sweet chocolate. Sometimes by itself, sometimes with some fruit like a clementine or a pear.
which talks about sugar addiction, and what the sugar-addicted person goes through when confronted with, say, a pan of brownies. I read the description and a light bulb went off: that's me!!! It was like someone was actually writing about me. Kind of interesting. :) Anyway, that post was on Feb 10th, and I've been eating well since then, so I guess it's been almost three weeks! Wow!
I feel so good. I encourage you to check it out.
In the meantime, a little food porn shot of what I had for lunch and will continue to eat for dinner:
Sigh...shriveled-up, dry-as-a-bone clementines make me yearn for summer...
Oh and real quick, a funny story I posted already on FB:
So last night I was dreaming, and in my dream we were in Zumba class and in class we were doing the Destroza step, you know, where you stomp one foot down and stick your hip out? Next thing I know my husband is waking me up, asking me if I was dreaming about Zumba. Apparently I was dancing in my sleep. And apparently this wasn't the first time. Which makes me wonder...do I have rhythm in my sleep? Do I cue in my sleep? Hmmm...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sweatpants are not a fashion statement; they are an excuse for those jeans that don't fit.
A twenty-pound gain is not "a little bloated".
Wearing a larger size in one thing might be a sizing issue. Wearing a larger size in lots of things is a problem.
The camera can add pounds. But not just on one person in the photo, so if I look that much bigger than everyone else...I probably am.
Wearing clothes that fit and flatter is much better, in the meantime, than wearing clothes that fit ten pounds ago in the hopes that they'll fit again.
Eating well is not torture, it doesn't suck--it's what I do when I value myself.
My health is a gift not only to myself but to my family and all the people who look to me for inspiration.
There are better ways to spend a snow day than baking and eating brownies and cookies.
Changing the way I eat and live changes the lifestyle legacy I pass on to my children.
And now for something a little more lighthearted:
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Here I am at my low weight, in November of 2008:
And here I am, just a month or two ago:
Look at my face! Look at my arm; it doesn't even fit in the picture!!! And we won't even go any lower than that...
I'm still drop-dead gorgeous. Just felt the need to add that.
OK, please go back to whatever you were doing. ;)
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Is there a better way to start the day than a fakin-bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich with a clementine on the side?
Don't answer that.
Hey, do you want to know what happens when you buy big red juicy tomatoes at the store, and then accidentally leave them in your car overnight in sub-freezing temperatures, then have a brain surge, run out to get them, and leave them to "thaw" on your counter?
So, hi, how ya doin. I haven't been here in a while. I'm pretty sure it's cuz I have, like, friends, now. And a life. Not sayin other bloggers don't have those things (because they would find me!!); just sayin that I sure didn't when I started this blog. And I can't seem to juggle everything as long as I'm trying to blog too.
I'm not giving up though! I just have to hire an assistant! grow an extra hand or two!
So anyway. I just wanted to tell you that I have gained fifteen pounds since I was at my lowest weight. And just recently it occurred to me that my lowest weight was over a year ago. And I started losing weight two years ago. And if I had remained steady on the course, I'd be invisible by now!
Not that that's the goal. I'm just sayin. What a waste of time!!
So, OK, whatever. Back on the horse for the umpteenth time. When I eventually lose what I have to lose and tone up and I'm fit enough to do all the crazy things I want to do like trapeze swinging and capoeira and hip hop classes and not just do them but do them well, I will look back on the roller coaster ride it's been and say it was worth it. As long as I can inspire people along the way.
I don't...I don't mean inspire them to take a crazy roller coaster ride with their weight. That's just not healthy! I mean, I want to inspire people to try new things and eat well and nourish their body and mind and soul and not be afraid to go out and live, just because they don't like the way they look. And even that! I want to inspire people and let them know that even if you aren't satisified with the way you look, even if you're not done carving out the reflection you want to see in the mirror, you can still love and appreciate the way your body looks now.
That's where I am now. I love what I see when I look in the mirror, but I'm not done with it. I'm not satisfied.
I think that taking that mentality is helping me keep a healthy outlook, as opposed to just hating myself, you know? And it's motivating, because instead of being all, Oh noes! look at my thighs and my butt and my stomach and my arms and my aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! I'll never be thin!!! I can give thanks for the things I like and then continue on so that the list of things I like grows, I guess.
Soooo that's what I want to know about you today, if in fact I still have any readers after posting so incredibly inconsistently. What do you like about yourself? I'll start:
- I love my back. It's not the most gorgeous back in the world but when I was at my heaviest, it was just this vast formless space. Now I have definition. I can tell how strong I am. I have muscles that help me not just in standing, but in lifting my children and carrying them up the stairs.
- I love my endurance. I can Zumba for hours, I recently took a day-long workshop in which I jumped rope all day, and I can even run three miles without stopping to walk. When I started working out with Zumba, I couldn't even get through a whole hour class without stopping for a break. (Classes, there is a lesson in that. Don't be afraid to take breaks if you need it!)
- I've mentioned this before, but it's been a while: I love the muscles that I can feel--in my arms, my legs, my back, my abs...I can't always SEE them...but I can feel they're there. My husband loves that too.
- I have balance and coordination! I mean, I was never a superhuge klutz but I had my moments, and if I slipped on a patch of ice it was a pretty good bet I would fall. Nowadays? I can slip on ice and not fall! I can do tree pose! Well, for a few seconds anyway...