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Monday, July 13, 2009

my imaginary conversation with a hypothetical Zumba Educational Specialist

Me: Hi there.
ZES: Hi.
Me: Is it OK if I interview you for my blog?
ZES: Your what?
Me: My...blog. Don't you know what a blog is?
ZES: Well, yeah. I just didn't know anyone dorky enough to have one.
Me: ...
ZES: I mean, do you really think that people care enough about what you're doing all day?
Me: ...well...
ZES: I mean, isn't that kind of self-centered?
Me: Well yeah, but that's the world nowadays. Don't you tweet?
ZES: uh...no.
Me: Oh, well, anyway... Can I ask you my first question?
ZES: Sure.
Me: OK. Hey...you get to work with BETO!!!
ZES: That's not really a question.
Me: Um, right...What's it like working with Beto??
ZES: Well, I don't really work with him that much--he travels a lot and is all over the world, you know, but we worked on a project last week and--
Me: --Did you get to touch him??
ZES: --What??
Me: Well? Didn't you?! He's so hot...
ZES: Yes, well, he's a sweetheart and recently we were in Brazil filming for...
Me: Was Gina there?
ZES: Gina? Yes, Gina was there.
Me: And Tanya??
ZES: Yes, a bunch of us ZES were there and the Albertos...look, is this a real interview or are you just gonna go all fan-girl on me?
Me: um...Is that a real question?
ZES: Excuse me, I have to go, I have a lot of paperwork to do.
Me: WAIT!!! Do you like being a ZES? Because that's what I want to do. I want to teach people how to teach Zumba.
ZES: Well, if that's what you want to do, you need to work hard and--
Me: ...and be on TV...
ZES: Well, that isn't really part of--
Me: ...and travel the world and stuff...
ZES: Yes, well, once you've taught for a few years and you've earned--
Me: and touch Beto!!
ZES: OK, I'm gone.
Me: OK but take my card. I'll Facebook you, OK? Add me!!
ZES: ...security!!
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