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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

OM effing G!!!

I just tried to post a big long post with lots of pictures of my Halloween costume.

Then I realized I'd done it on the wrong blog.

SO I wrote it up ALL OVER AGAIN, which takes a long time when you have pictures--you can't just cut and paste from one blog to the next--and hit publish.

GUESS WHAT?! I did it int he same blog again! So, yes, I had pretty much the same blog post, posted twice in a row. Dumbass.

So screw it--you can just follow the link on over to my other blog and read there.

Tragically Unhip--the Halloween Costume Picture Post for CYRING OUT LOUD.

Friday, October 17, 2008

finally found something i'm good at...

Oh yeah! I told you I got my review from my boss at the Y.

Hee!

I won't go into details--because, really, do you care?--but let's just say there were words used that I never hear in reviews for my other job. Words like "outstanding". And "excellent".

I almost cried. But um, I think that would have scared my boss.

See, I am so excited to teach Zumba--not that I need to tell you that, if you've been reading for any time at all--that I usually forget that it's my job, that it's "work", which, really, is a pretty good way to work, right? And when I stop to think about it, and realize that I finally have a job that:
  1. I'm good at
  2. I love
  3. I never want to stop doing
  4. Actually pays me
I can't help but get all misty-eyed. I mean, I've had lots of things that met one or maybe two of those requirements.

There was the time I wrote for the school paper, but that didn't pay.

There was the two seasons of working at the rennaisance faire. I played a pirate. It fulfilled numbers 2 and 3, anyway, but I don't know how good I really was--I was too busy playing around (and, um, flirting with cute rennie boys) to interact much with the patrons--and it sure didn't pay; I just did it for the fun.

I miss that job!

There have been all the crappy little jobs I've had since high school, which pay OK--and the crappy little job I have now that pays really quite well--but which totally suck and, for my current job, anyway, which I am not even any good at. I'm late all the time, I can't push a credit card application on someone to save my life, and I really don't give a flying crap about why you're returning it, just shut up and let me give you your money back already.

There was the brief stint as a PR peon, but every time a press contact rebuffed my advances I'd take it personally and have to take a break outside to collect myself. Too bad; there were other parts of the job that were most excellent, including my lovely, gracious boss and all the event planning stuff, which I totally have to delve into one day...

So anyway...here I am, completely stumbling into this Zumba instructor gig via a desperate attempt to shrink my ginormous...assets...and look!

I'm good!

People come to my classes!

We have fun!

I get asked to do parties!

I forget I'm working! That's certainly never happened before!

I'm--dare I say it, and risk sounding seriously stuck up--sought after!

I still can't believe it.

I knew back from the very first Zumba class I took that this would be a blessing. I just never knew how huge a blessing it would be. To have something in which I am competent...I can't even get into how big that is to me. I struggle a lot with being "just" a mom, which sucks--I want to be content because being a mom is awesome, a job in itself. I love being a mom, which is a large part of why I don't have a "real" job and why I was able to get into teaching in the first place--but having Zumba allows me to be a mom and still quiet that part of me that needs to feel important and smart and good at something.

'Cuz let's face it. Love it or not, I'm not so good at the mom thing. If you don't believe me, I'll tell you what I said just earlier today, when my husband told me there was a case of head lice reported at one of the Y's childwatch rooms:

"That's OK--lice like clean heads, so our kids should be all set." Which, incidentally, is just about the same thing I said when I found out that allergies are more prevalent in children living in very clean homes.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

and for evidence as to why blogging at quarter to midnight is a bad idea, we present exhibit a...


Had a great class this morning! Not sure why. I was a total mess!

My hair looked like crap.

I wore this humongous tank top in a vain effort to disguise the fact that I was so bloated I looked five months pregnant.

I forgot deodorant. Nice. I didn't realize it til we got to the Y so I quickly turned the car around and sped to the nearest gas station, only to discover it to be the only gas station/convenience store in America that doesn't carry emergency toiletries, so after a quick inner dialogue (run home to get deodorant only to be very late for class? ask someone if they'd share? no, that's gross...) and a quick check of emergency supplies at the front desk (nuthin! Good to know I'm not the only one who forgets to put on deodorant, for cryin...) I went with the "warn the class not to get too close, and escape as soon as class is over" option.

Blech.

All I had for breakfast was...wait, did I eat before class? I woke up so late I might have forgotten.

So yes, I was such a mess this morning. But still, we had a great class!

Part of it is just this group of women (and the occasional guy. Why don't guys take group exercise classes? That's a-whole-nother blog post...). They are so...so...fabulous. I know I've written about this particular class before, aka my favorite class of the whole week, but I'll say it again. They're my favorite class of the whole week!!! I wish I could teach this group every day, seriously.

So, I taught a few new songs, right? And they were kind of different, and I made up the choreography myself, so of course it just sucked...OK, I'm kidding, but I'm no super choreo master, so it was adequate but not totally over the moon. And as usual I only ever practiced the stuff in the car, while, like, driving and stuff, whereas most people would get out of the car and practice on their feet before trying it out in class.

(You so don't want to meet up with me on the road when I'm car-dancing. Can you picture it? Crazy white girl jammin to the Latin rhythms while maneuvering a 3800-pound minivan through traffic at 85mph 65mph and passing juice boxes to the two-year-old in the back...eyes on the road at all times, of course...)

But my class whooped it up, ate up everything I threw at them, as usual, and reminded me of how thankful I am to be able to teach and how sick it is that I get paid to do it. :)

Sick, I tell you!

Next time: my review at the Y, and finding a way out of the other job, if it kills me.

on eating

Ooooooh my aching tummy.

Here's what I've eaten in the past twenty four hours:

...or at least, everything I can remember...
  • two bagels
  • two cups of tea
  • one cup of coffee
  • one veggieburger
  • five thousand pumpkin spice hershey's kisses
  • two thousand candy cane hershey's kisses
  • nine hundred and sixty four pieces of chocolate caramel candy corn
  • three thousand two hundred m&ms in cool halloween colors
  • five frosted sugar cookies. With sprinkles.
  • one snickers bar, full size.
  • one piece of pepperoni pizza
  • two twenty-ounce cups of Coke
Excuse me a moment...

[Holy *@&%)@n@ @()% dobby's sock! &($)@(# mother of ##)%&(%*)_@ dear ))(Q)W-) voldemort's nipple!]

Well. I didn't realize it was that bad until I typed it all out like that.

What the hell is wrong with me!?

For a while I was doing well--really, really well. Not just with eating well, but with not having to think about eating well. It was just what I wanted. I was eating the way someone who has never been fat might eat. Normally. Intuitively.

It felt so good! I want that again! I don't want to be all bloated and gross and tired and sick and...and...crap!

The crappy eating snuck up on me a bit. I mean, of course it was all my fault...but I didn't think it would hurt, here and there, to get lazy and just munch on whatever hubby and the kids left lying around.

But the laziness was so easy, it became a habit, and the crappy eating awoke cravings I thought were long dead, much like a zombie crawling out of the grave, all Halloween style.

So now, it's back to something I thought I was done with: junk food fast!! Wooot!

Sigh.

Starting tomorrow, I have to eat as clean as possible, so I can get all the nasty cravings out of my system and start fresh. I want so badly to get back to that intuitive eating!! I want to never have to stop and think, "Hm, I shouldn't be eating this but I want it soooobad!" I want it to be like when I read this book and was all, "Foo! No way I'm goin vegan!! That's crazy talk!" and then at the end of the book I closed it, looked up, and said, "Oh crap! I'm a vegan!" I want it to be just instant change in worldview, like that.

Please God? We're cool, right?

So tell me. Do you have issues with eating?


Thursday, October 09, 2008

I was supposed to learn this for conference...

cat
more animals

my posts always sound better in my head anyway...

I have this great post I composed in my head on the way home from work last night. Without killing it for you before I write it, it's about eating intuitiviely--normally--as opposed to constantly thinking about what you should and should not be eating and how you totally just blew your diet.

I can't write it now, though, because someone lent me this book that I just can't freakin put down.

I'm almost done.

I promise I'll be back. Maybe not today, but definitely tomorrow.

And oh! I have to tell you how my evaluation with my YMCA boss went!

xo

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

countdown

OMG 20 days til I leave for Florida!

I'm going to explode!

In other news...I'm wearing my skinny jeans, and they're not cutting off circulation to my nether regions.

Yay!

I'm having trouble thinking of things to write about lately. Something about there being too many other things to think about like OMG the economy is going to shit! and OMG the government has given us all a giant bj!! and OMG I just want this damn election to be over and I don't even care who wins anymore!

So yeah. In place of a real post, here are the top ten things I've thought that actually are related to Zumba or weight loss or eating vegan:
  1. Wow! This vegan chocolate rum pudding cake is fantastic! It would have been even better had I not burnt it!
  2. Wow! That vegan chocolate rum pudding cake was great! I can't believe I ate the whole thing!
  3. I just don't feel like going to muscle conditioning class today.
  4. I just don't feel like staying for Body Pump class today.
  5. Oops! can't wear those Zumba capris because I haven't shaved my legs in two weeks!
  6. Gotta get subs for Zumba convention. Gotta get subs...
  7. Tummy tuck? More ab work? Tummy tuck? More ab work?
  8. That pepperoni pizza was SO good...I hope no one saw me eat it or I'll get kicked out of the vegan club. But really...it hit the spot!
  9. I have to get my wedding rings sized down before I lose one of these suckers!
  10. I'm hot!!!
There you go. Hope it took your mind off the world going to heck. ;)