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Friday, August 29, 2008

look! a new post!

OK OK, people, jeez, I'm here already.

It's good to feel loved. :)

I have to tell you though: I have no idea what I'm going to write about. Of course, that is the case about 50% of the times that I sit down to blog. Something always manages to come out, though. So here goes...It's gonna have to be quick, though--I just got home from class and I am sweaty.

You're welcome for sharing.

So um...I have a little confession to make. I've made it before, and I'm sure I'll make it again.

I've been eating like crap.

Really! Crap! It's been going on for about two weeks now. Part of it is just that TOM, when I crave chocolate like it's a drug, but usually I grab myself a bar of dark chocolate heaven and I'm set for the month. But lately...I eat whatever I want, regardless of its ability to fuel my workouts or clog my arteries...and we're even talking animal products. Last night? I ate a chicken and cheese quesedilla...and I have to tell you, it was SO good.

I'm not confessing this because I feel guilty. I never feel guilt anymore when I choose to eat like this because I feel like I'm in control. It's my choice. I used to feel out of control, and binges would go on forever.

No, I think I'm confessing just to get it out there, in the hopes that saying it out loud will make me think more about what I'm doing to myself, help me see how it's affecting my workouts and my life in general.

My workouts: I've kind of been phoning in my last several classes, including today. I sweat plenty, but I'm not exuding the kind of energy that I like to, the kind that ramps up my class and gets everyone going. And my workouts outside of my own classes are non-existent. My friend teaches a pump class right after my friday zumba class. In other words, she's teaching it right now. But for the last two Fridays I've felt too crappy and lethargic to take it--and you know I was hoping to get into weight training to get this weight loss ball rolling a little faster.

My hopes for a size 6 by convention are getting dim.

That means no new wardrobe.

I've got to stop this madness!

*deep breath*

SO! No more cookies snuck from the bakery at work. I have to tell the guys back there to please stop tempting me with them. (Is snuck not a word? My spellcheck is telling me I suck.)

No more peanut butter and fluff sandwich crusts left over from my children. Yum.

No more...chicken and cheese quesadillas. Cuz seriously, the though of eating animal stuff still totally grosses me out. But they were delish. (Ew!)

And lots more of the good stuff! More veggies and rice and tofu and seitan and sweet potatoes and mmmmmmm.

Now I'm hungry.

But hey, this was good! I've talked it out, and I'm really thinking now about what I'm putting in my body and how it relates to what I get out of it. YAY!

OK I'm off to shower.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

this is what's known as a "shiner"

This is my shiner. 30 years old, and I finally get my first one. I'm so proud. :)

The fabulous black eye you see here is courtesy of my two-year-old, who hit me with her head while we were playing. (I tried telling people I got in a fight, but no one freakin believes me! So much for upping my street cred...)

She was lying next to me in bed, when she sat up. I thought (silly me!) that she was done playing so I moved my head to where she was, when KA-BLAMMMM!! she threw herself backward with a force wielded exclusively by fearless two-year-olds, leaving her mother seeing stars, for realz.

In this pic it's a day old. You should have seen me yesterday. And I can't wait till it starts turning green! I'll have to wear matching eye shadow or something. It'll be a "look". :)

Aaaannyway, I wanted to come say hi, because I've been neglecting you. I know I've been neglecting you because my internet browser doesn't even prompt me with the blogger website address anymore. It has forgotten you. :( But no more!

OK, well, not for today, anyway. I'm still in summertime blog slump mode.

(Not for long though...two weeks til school starts! I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Kind of a disappointing summer, this. It better not rain between now and school...)

Oh, I wanted to give you an update on the preconvention challenge! Here's the old stats, as I wrote them in the first post on the subject, and now:

Waist now: 31
Waist then: 37
Waist 8.18.08: 30!

Hips now: 42
Hips then: 47
Hips 8.18.08: 39! (OK, OK, 39 and a half.)

Upper arms now: 12
Upper arms then: 13.5 (this number is the biggest pain--it never moves except to go up. After I started taking Zumba classes it went up to 14 from my enormous guns)
Upper arms 8.18.08: 12 (grrrrrrrrrr)

Thigh now: 24
Thigh then: 28
Thigh 8.18.08: 23

so YAY! I'm all excited. I'm down to 144, which is cool but not quite up to the pace I wanted to keep, in order to get to a size 6 before convention. No worries though.

OK, enough of that, what else, what else...

OH yeah! Right now I am supposed to be studying new choreography. The stuff we just got is awesome and I can't wait til I can take it into my classes, hence my being up at 1 am learning it. So...I'm going to do that right now. Right after I make some coffee.

How are you all doin? Those of you who are going to the workshop on the 23rd: Have a great time! I wish I could be there to see you! xoxo and see you in class!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

perspective

Today I taught two Zumba classes.

They were great classes.

For the first one? I got to teach on a stage. That was so cool. Except for the part about my butt being right at eye level. And the part about being pretty sure I was gonna fall off at some point (I didn't though!). Other than that? Wicked cool. And then, after that class, everyone was asking me if I was going to be a permanent instructor (I was just filling in for a girl) and telling me they LOVED my class. YAY!

Then, for the second one, I got lots of love from my class after I told them the first class was kind of...quiet. So the second one made extra noise to make up for it. :) Feel the lurve.

Then I went to work at my other job.

Then I went to the mall.

I went into Forever 21.

Bad idea.

I came out of there feeling all crappy because everything is sized so tiny and nothing fit, and the clothes all felt cheap (because, hello, they were cheap!), and they don't carry pants that fit me and here I thought I was actually getting thin and OMG I will never have enough money to buy the things I want and wah wah wah wah wah wah.

Now, out of this I learned a couple of things.
  1. I'm usually pretty content. I don't think of myself as content because there definitely are things I pine for. But compared to today, with my whining about everything? I go through life pretty grateful for what I have.
  2. I should never allow myself to wallow in the muck of self pity, mistaking a smaller butt or smaller hips or a flatter stomach for more worthiness as a person. My worth lies in what I give to other people, in my attitude and servitude, whether I'm in Zumba class, where serving with a smile comes naturally, or at work or even at home.
So, OK, object lesson over. I live to shop another day...at a store that sells real clothes you can actually live in. And now it's time for bed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz