Here's what I've eaten in the past twenty four hours:
...or at least, everything I can remember...
- two bagels
- two cups of tea
- one cup of coffee
- one veggieburger
- five thousand pumpkin spice hershey's kisses
- two thousand candy cane hershey's kisses
- nine hundred and sixty four pieces of chocolate caramel candy corn
- three thousand two hundred m&ms in cool halloween colors
- five frosted sugar cookies. With sprinkles.
- one snickers bar, full size.
- one piece of pepperoni pizza
- two twenty-ounce cups of Coke
[Holy *@&%)@n@ @()% dobby's sock! &($)@(# mother of ##)%&(%*)_@ dear ))(Q)W-) voldemort's nipple!]
Well. I didn't realize it was that bad until I typed it all out like that.
What the hell is wrong with me!?
For a while I was doing well--really, really well. Not just with eating well, but with not having to think about eating well. It was just what I wanted. I was eating the way someone who has never been fat might eat. Normally. Intuitively.
It felt so good! I want that again! I don't want to be all bloated and gross and tired and sick and...and...crap!
The crappy eating snuck up on me a bit. I mean, of course it was all my fault...but I didn't think it would hurt, here and there, to get lazy and just munch on whatever hubby and the kids left lying around.
But the laziness was so easy, it became a habit, and the crappy eating awoke cravings I thought were long dead, much like a zombie crawling out of the grave, all Halloween style.
So now, it's back to something I thought I was done with: junk food fast!! Wooot!
Starting tomorrow, I have to eat as clean as possible, so I can get all the nasty cravings out of my system and start fresh. I want so badly to get back to that intuitive eating!! I want to never have to stop and think, "Hm, I shouldn't be eating this but I want it soooobad!" I want it to be like when I read this book and was all, "Foo! No way I'm goin vegan!! That's crazy talk!" and then at the end of the book I closed it, looked up, and said, "Oh crap! I'm a vegan!" I want it to be just instant change in worldview, like that.
Please God? We're cool, right?
So tell me. Do you have issues with eating?