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Saturday, August 09, 2008

perspective

Today I taught two Zumba classes.

They were great classes.

For the first one? I got to teach on a stage. That was so cool. Except for the part about my butt being right at eye level. And the part about being pretty sure I was gonna fall off at some point (I didn't though!). Other than that? Wicked cool. And then, after that class, everyone was asking me if I was going to be a permanent instructor (I was just filling in for a girl) and telling me they LOVED my class. YAY!

Then, for the second one, I got lots of love from my class after I told them the first class was kind of...quiet. So the second one made extra noise to make up for it. :) Feel the lurve.

Then I went to work at my other job.

Then I went to the mall.

I went into Forever 21.

Bad idea.

I came out of there feeling all crappy because everything is sized so tiny and nothing fit, and the clothes all felt cheap (because, hello, they were cheap!), and they don't carry pants that fit me and here I thought I was actually getting thin and OMG I will never have enough money to buy the things I want and wah wah wah wah wah wah.

Now, out of this I learned a couple of things.
  1. I'm usually pretty content. I don't think of myself as content because there definitely are things I pine for. But compared to today, with my whining about everything? I go through life pretty grateful for what I have.
  2. I should never allow myself to wallow in the muck of self pity, mistaking a smaller butt or smaller hips or a flatter stomach for more worthiness as a person. My worth lies in what I give to other people, in my attitude and servitude, whether I'm in Zumba class, where serving with a smile comes naturally, or at work or even at home.
So, OK, object lesson over. I live to shop another day...at a store that sells real clothes you can actually live in. And now it's time for bed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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