Friday, April 13, 2007
I actually had to tell my boss that's where I'll be, so he'd give me the morning off. I mean, not that he can't see I'm fat ("What? You need to lose weight? Oh, I hadn't thought...well, ok, if you think so...") but its another thing to have to say it, y'know? :) It's all good...all on the road to health. 'S'all good. ;)
Anyway then it's straight to work then hopefully out for a drink and some nachos with the girls from work. And yes, I'm budgeting that all into my daily calories. So, a raisin for breakfast and a lettuce leaf for lunch. :)
Zzz...not much in the mood to write anything else, really. Bek's been sick for what seems like forever and I'm exhausted from the round-the-clock neediness (although secretly pleased that when my kids are sick, only mommy will do!). I've missed so much Zumba (sick kids not welcome in Y childcare room, which is ironic since that's probably where she picked up the damn germs in the first place) that I don't think my hips will ever move the same. :)
So, goodnight for now. I'll try to get back on some kind of writing schedule when I'm getting regular sleep.
Oh, and hey! There's a highlighting bleachout kit in my possession, with my name on it. I've never tried highlighting my own hair. Should be fun! ...or, something... Anyway I'll post pictures.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
<---See that? That's the cover of this week's People magazine. As soon as I saw it I bought it, because of that cover there. On that cover there, Valerie Bertinelli (who I loved as Sydney on that show I can't remember the name of but could look up in the article but am too lazy to do so I won't) says she's fat and, as the new Jenny Craig spokeswoman, vows to lose thirty pounds.
Holy run-on sentences!
Anyway, the article caught my attention because like me, VB is 5-foot-2 and, like me, she is a size 14 and, like me, she is going to try to get skinny again. So I'm going to be following her story through the inevitable commercials and articles and use that as my inspiration.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
So, Zumba today.
No, I'm not saying the instructor is bad. She's very cute and enthusiastic and nice, but apparently she left her sense of rhythm home today because OMG I was trying to keep the beat and then I looked at her and she was all over the place!! And she does this thing where she does each song twice so that the first time you can learn it and the second time you can "dance like no one's watching" that makes me want to scream because the whole time I'm doing one song I'm thinking about how we have to do it again instead of wondering what exciting new song we'll do next.
OK so maybe I have to learn to live in the moment a little more. :)
Oh and that darn mirror.
Today I positioned myself so my reflection was right on the crack between two mirrors, which made me look moderately normal, as opposed to the 5-foot-wide monster who usually takes the place of my actual reflection.
Oohhhzzzzz....I'd write more but I need a nap. :) How're you doin?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Now let's talk about the room we were in.
We were in the studio, which, as I've mentioned before, has a huge mirror in it all over the wall so you can watch yourself workout. Woo hoo.
It's a fat mirror.
Like, a really-super-duper-makes-you-twice-as-wide-as-normal mirror.
I hate it.
I mean, this mirror is my vile arch enemy. I go in to have a nice, fun, sweaty workout and the mirror, it mocks me.
"You're fat" it reminds me, in case I'd started to forget and maybe even, gasp! started to feel good about my body. "You don't belong here. You look stupid doing those moves. Everyone else here is staring at the fat girl trying to dance. Go home, fat girl, and stuff your face with brownies because you'll never look good."
Yeah, it kind of sucks. So as much as I try to ignore the voice coming from the mirror, I always leave the classes held in that studio feeling depressed, like a fat slob who has so far to go I might as well quit now and relegate myself to shopping at Lane Bryant.
But then, I picked Jo up from her playdate at her friend's house and her friend's older sister said, and I quote, "You look like a teenager!"
I wanted to smooch her but I thought that might be weird. So I just said thanks. :)