Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I'd really love to tell you all about my last few Zumba classes, or how I'm doing with the weight thing, or how my 18-year-old coworker called me fat.

I'd really love to.

But I'm too incredibly stuffed full of homemade BBQ pizza that hubby cooked on the grill and that I stuffed down my throat before rushing off to Zumba class before coming home and eating more of it and then mowing down a mint-chocolate-chip ice cream cone.

I feel so gross.

Be back tomorrow.

ps: Dear Blogger, thank you thank you thank you for your new autosave feature so dumbasses like me can stop worrying when we'll accidently browse away from the current page and lose our entire book post. I love you.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hey, check it out! Here is an interview I did for Neat! :)

This weekend it finally hit home that what I eat really has an effect on how I feel. I mean, of course I knew that intellectually, and after reading YOU on a Diet I could probably explain exactly what happens in your body that makes you feel good when you eat well and feel crappy when you eat crappy. But I didn't really believe it.

Or, I didn't want to believe it. Because then I'd have to turn down that last brownie. ;)

But this weekend was my dad's birthday. (He's the big 5-0!) I brought cake over and sat with my dad, my sister, my brother, and my sister's son. We talked and joked and had a great time until, like, midnight, but that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is all the cake I ate! Cake that night, cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day. (My excuse was that it was mothers' day and I deserved it. When am I going to learn that I deserve to feel good and not crappy?!)

Then the day after that was Monday. Hubby had the day off and went to pick up donut holes and I devoured half of those.

Then I went to Monday morning Zumba class. I got a huge compliment when my instructor was late and two women turned to me and said, "She can teach it!" but then I couldn't even live up to it because I had no energy. Even for my very favoritest song I was kinda just phoning it in.

Somewhat embarrassing.

And I could only chalk it up to all the junk! So...sigh. Gotta eat less junk, more good stuff. And, like, be consistent. Because seriously, don't you hear me saying that all the time?!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

new weight-loss goals

OK, time for some new weight-loss goals to keep me motivated. The first one is somewhat, um, immediate. ;)
  1. Get off my butt, shut off this dang computer, and turn on a workout video. And then do it.

The rest of them have rewards. Yay rewards!

  1. Drink at least eight 8-ounce glasses of pure water (not coffee, not diet coke, that vile addictive drink of the devil) a day, every day, for a whole month. Reward: pretty blonde highlights
  2. Get down to 165, which would be about a 10% loss from my highest weight of 185. Reward: mani/pedi
  3. Keep in my calorie range on sparkpeople, including ranges for carbs, fat, and protein, for a week straight (which, um, hasn't happened yet). Reward: new piece of fitness equipment, like a pedometer or one of those big balls you do situps on. I'd really love a coreboard...
  4. Go on a sweaty streak: work up a sweat every day, for as many days in a row as possible. "Working up a sweat" defined as being able to say, "Dang, I'm sweaty! I stink! I need a shower!" Bonus if one of the kids notices the stink. Reward: 30 days, new art book; 60 days, new art supplies; 90 days, new outfit; 120 days, enrichment class @ YMCA.

Since this is my blog and my goals and my rules, I'm counting yesterday and the day before in my sweaty streak. And today, as soon as I get off my butt and do that video. ;)

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

you totally sweat my zumba shoes

These are my Zumba shoes:

Cute, right? They're black and white and purple, which is just about my favorite color combo evah.


You might be wondering, "Well, what makes them Zumba shoes?! Shoes are shoes!"

Well, you'd be wrong!

Zumba has lots of hip-swivelling moves that could totally take out your knees if you make the mistake of wearing tread-y sneakers that stick to the floor. Sneakers like mine have kinda-fabric-stuff on the bottoms so you can swivel and shake to your hearts content without dislocating any major body parts.

I was trying to keep this all in mind tonight at Zumba class while trying to restore my dignity. See, I took a big step, trying to be all cool and killa-moves. My lunge didn't hold though, thanks to my fancy schmancy 7-dollar Target Zumba shoes, and I totally fell on my ass.

But because I'm all cool like that, I just got up and wiped my butt off while laughing at myself. Because everyone knows that people can't laugh at you if you're already laughing yourself. ;)

Monday, May 07, 2007

food television

I have got to go to bed because I am sitting here watching Food Network and drooling. I have a sudden craving for a huge juicy burger with everything on it.

So hungry.

Going to bed.

rise & shine

Hey, wanna see what I look like first thing in the morning? Hope you aren't eating! Here ya go!:

Well, that was fun. ;)

I was reading this blog and she posted her own rise & shine picture so I thought I'd try that too. Overall I have to say I don't look too bad. I still have mascara on one eye--I can never get that crap all the way off.

Moving on...

I Zumba'd today, although I got called out because Bek pooped and I had to change her. I thought I told her to do that kind of stuff before we left.

Speaking of Zumba I tried another class by another instructor last week, did I tell you? Hated it. Won't go back.

Um...what else. Oh! I gave up the junk food. Hum? Oh, well, yeah I know I've said that before but so? Don't judge me!! ;) So yeah, salad and fresh fruit and whole grains for the past two days. Today's the third day and I don't even have a headache! Go me! (Seriously, do you ever get headaches when you try to give up the good stuff? That crap's addictive!)

OH and I have rockin abs! I mean, I have to get rid of all the fat before you'll ever notice but when I'm exercising, or working, or even just standing there I can feel muscles that I never noticed before! Go me! I just have to work on getting them to, like, show. ;)

Hm, that's all for now. Bek's still in her high chair eating lunch and I probably shouldn't leave her too long or she'll toddle on down to DSS, yelling mama mama mama! all the way. So, see ya!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

gonna do it

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna go for my certification to teach Zumba.

This summer. There's a certification class in June. I just need to save up enough money to pay the $220 certification fee. So I might have to wait for the next close-by session...but I'm going to try to have it for the June class.

But I'm going to do it. Forget how fat I am, what people might think of a fitness instructor whose BMI is well into the "obese" range. I'm good at it and it's fun and I love it and I want other people to love it and heck, what better excuse to get my cardio in than I'm the instructor?!!

Your assignment, dear readers, is to tell me about different instructors you have had, for whatever aerobics classes you like to take. Have they been fat? skinny? old? young? I want to hear stories about instructors who defy the stereotypes. Basically I want to hear that I can do this, and that people will want to come to my classes. ;)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

follow the bouncing train of thought...ooh shiny!

Sorry I've been so inconsistent lately. It's not just the posting--it's the diet, the exercise, and most other parts of my life. I blame it all on the weather; it's been so rainy and crappy here and I just want spring, for crying out loud.

I haven't stepped on the scale in a while because I know it's not going to be pretty. I know I haven't gained back any inches--amen, hallelujah--but the junk food I've been gorging on has me retaining mad water yo.

And the exercise---I miss the gym! Bek is STILL sick, and now it feels like I'm getting it too. I get to the gym early Saturday, between church and work on Sunday, and then Tuesday night Zumba class. This isn't enough for me. I need to be there every day, or else I just kinda crap out on it. Also, I eat better all day when I work out first thing. Y'know, it's that mentality that I don't want to undo all the stuff I just did.

I seriously have to get going on creating some inspirational visuals to put up around the house, most definitely on the mirror (gah!) and the fridge (back off!). Something about my goals and stuff.

Speaking of Zumba class (Am I bouncing all over the place? I feel like I am. Sorry.) the instructor, my friend Tina, made me get in front of the class for one of the songs. It's a harder song, and her mike wasn't working, so she wanted a couple of bodies up with her.

It was great!

Part of me was very self-conscious (oh nnooooz! I'm fat! Everyone's looking at meeee!) but part of me LOVED it. :) So I told Tina she could put me up front any time. :) Oh and guess what?!! When that song was over and I went back to my place one woman said "Wow, you've been doing this a long time, huh?!" and another woman asked me if I was an instructor!!! I should probably warn these people that stroking my already-inflated ego is not generally a good idea. It's hard to be humble as it is. :) hee.

Know one of the things I love most about that class? The look on a person's face when she's taking the class for the first time and realizes that, while she may be sweating like a pig, she's having fun. I love that. There were a couple of women tonight who looked like that. I know they'll be back.

Here are some of my goals, just as a reminder to myself. I've got to get back on track. I had a DQ Blizzard last night, for cryin out loud. (Blueberry CheeseQuake flavor. It was incredibly delish.)

  1. lose serious weight
  2. be hot for my hubby
  3. look cute and tiny and vulnerable in his clothes, as opposed to having them fit like they're mine!
  4. be mistaken for the babysitter
  5. teach zumba
  6. share clothes with my girls when they're older
  7. join a kickball league--which I'd do now if I didn't have to work but anyway...
  8. try roller derby
  9. go to art school--which has nothing to do with losing weight but I wanted to throw that in there anyway.

Oh, and don't hold your breath waiting for pictures of my hair. Much like the purple dye debacle, this didn't work. I sat there with bleach all up in my hair for an hour and fifteen minutes, washed it all out, and went to bed thinking, "Oooh, when I wake up I'll have artfully-arranged funky bleached-out streaks, yayyy!" and when I woke up? Nuthin. What the heck man?! This head is just not dyeable, at least not by any amateur means. I'm going to try again, though, as soon as I get some mo-nay.

I guess I could just go to the salon, but that means trusting someone else to do it the way I want and I'm not so good at that, even though I've never done this before in my life and they kinda, y'know, do it for a living. :)