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Monday, March 05, 2007

grr

Frustrated, discouraged, impatient, angry, disappointed, irritated--these are all pretty adequate words for how I'm feeling right now. I just don't understand.

My eating habits are not the best, I know. But on the other hand they aren't really any worse than how I usually eat, and I've been working my rear end off at the gym.

But my weight it keeps climbing. And my measurements? I can't be exactly sure because of the whole am-I-measuring-in-the-same-place-as-last-time thing but I think they're slowly going down. That's great and all, but why is my weight going up?!

My clothes fit. That's all I have to say about that. They're not getting tighter, but they're not really seeming any looser. I think I see more definition in my lower legs and my arms, and my abs, and I'm really hoping it's not my imagination because hat's one thing that gives me an occasional ego boost.

But we got our family portrait taken and I was looking at them today and I hate the way I look. I try to find a halfway decent picture to put on my myspace page for when people I went to high school come across my page and I can't find anything. I just feel so...grr...about myself.

I know I can't act mystified about it all. I need to step up my eating-healthy habits. It's no good working out if I'm going to go home and pig out on cake and ice cream and brownies and hot cocoa and whatever else. But it's hard!

So tonight I am going to plan out my meals for the week. Not just for what I eat, but for the whole family. Then I'm going to plan my grocery shopping accordingly. Maybe if I have every meal written out I'll be able to avoid the scene where I get hungryish, walk into the kitchen, and devour the nearest edible substance.

And I've got to keep up the gym-going. I can't get lax on that just because I didn't wake up thin.

Please tell me there are some people out there who can sympathize?! :)
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