Tuesday, February 20, 2007

hey guess what!

I'm totally off my diet and up about 6 pounds! Go me!

Anyway, that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about aerobics classes and the art of choosing your spot.

You know what I mean. You go to aerobics class for the first time right as the class starts, only to have to fight for a spot. So the next time you get there early. And that's where the population splits into two types: the people who get in front so they can see the instructor, and the people who get way in the back because they're afraid they're going to look stupid.

After a while you don't have to show up so early because you've established your spot. Everyone knows where you go (because everyone goes to their own same spot every time, it's like human nature or pack thinking or something) and they stay out of your spot.

Then, as you continue to go and you start to figure out what the heck you're doing, you have to renegotiate your spot. You don't want to be in front because you don't want to block anyone's view, but you don't want to be in back because, y'know, you've got th' moves now and everyone should be witness to your awesomeness. And you figure someone who can't see the instructor very well could turn to you for help.

So you have to get in there early again, so that you can pick out the prime middle position. Chances are it's already taken by someone so you wait for her to show up. She'll come in closer to when the class actually starts, having established that as her spot. But now that you're there, someone's going to have to step up and someone's going to have to back down.

She shows up and sees you're in her spot so she gets as close to you as possible without actually looking like she's trying to be possessive, because, y'know, just because we all have our own Spot-with-a-capital-S doesn't mean we'd be so petty as to mention it. She puts her water bottle in front of her, kind of off to the side nearest you. Maybe she even smiles at you, the kind of smile and head nod that acknowledges that you both come to the class every week.

Then as the class starts and you're working up a sweat, she kind of horns in on you. Her side-to-side movements take her only a little to the opposite side, then waaay in on your side. So now you have to either give or fight back. The two of you go back and forth like this until eventually the weaker one gives up the prime real estate and backs down. Is it you? Is it her?

Maybe I'll take a video camera to Zumba class tonight. Seriously! I don't usually get to go on Tuesday nights, and the footage might make a good pitch to Discovery Channel or something. "Discovering Dance Aerobics; the last frontier" or something.

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