Wednesday, January 31, 2007

the scale is my friend

So, I was down to 172 this week. I say "was" because today, thanks to a general feeling of bloatiness, I'm at 173. So of course I'm counting the 172 as this week's weigh-in. :)

Haven't been to the gym in about a week, thanks in part to Bek's cold. I plan on going tonight, with no kids, after dinner. Just me, my mp3 player, and my beloved arc trainer. Maybe some weights if I'm feeling crazy. Gotta get back on my streak.

Nothing much to write about. I'm not feeling so good so I might not check in for a few days. All I wanna do is curl up in bed with some tea but as you mommies know, Mommy takes care of everyone. When Mommy is sick there's no one to take care of her. *sigh* ;) [/martyr's rant]

Friday, January 26, 2007

i'm almost too afraid to hope this is might be right but...

In the last two weeks or so since I first measured I have lost:
  • two inches in my chest (always the first to go, am I right?)
  • two inches in my waist
  • one inch in my hips
  • and one inch in my thighs

The one place I actually gained an inch was my upper arms, which I'm hoping is from muscle. But man! Does that not rock?!

I'm afraid to put too much stock in it because I'm always wondering if I'm measuring in the same spot every time. I think maybe I'll get tattoos--a ring around my upper arm, a ring around my thigh, and a ring around my waist and hips and then I'll just set up the tape measure right around the tattoo. :)

But wow, that definitely is motivating. Maybe I'll actually fit in a workout today instead of relying on pushing carts of heavy returns around the store (hey don't tell me it's not a workout--my bum is killing me today thankyouverymuch).

Thursday, January 25, 2007

if not now, when?

According to google, this phrase gets around.


And now? It's my own personal motto. :)

Seriously--I was thinking about this phrase, turning it around in my mind one night, when I decided to adopt it as my own. I'm not even sure where it came from, just sprung forth from that inner well your thoughts brew in.

See, I keep saying yeah, I'll lose weight, I'll exercise, I'll eat right. Starting...Monday. Or after the holidays. Or when I'm not pregnant, or nursing, or when I'm back to work.

Tomorrow. Next week.

And now I look back and think that if I had just stuck to something then, where might I be now?!

So now whenever the temptations comes to skip a workout or eat a donut or have a ginormous Dunkin Donuts white hot chocolate with whipped cream instead of the Starbucks Iced Green Tea Lemonade, no sweetner please, because Hey! It's cheaper! Better value for my money! I'm going to remind myself of that phrase.

If not now, when?!

If I were a believer in tattoos I would get one, right on my wrist, that said that: INNW?

Except then I'd look like a bag of Doritos.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

so far

Last night I went to the Tuesday night Zumba class (as opposed to my usual Friday morning) since I was home and hadn't gotten to the gym all day. Or, y'know, the day or two before that.

It was in the little studio instead of the nice roomy gym, and man was it packed. The next time you want to try an aerobics class in 2 square inches of space head on over to my Tuesday night Zumba class.

Another interesting (read Scary!! Very scary!!) aspect of this class is because it's in the studio you can watch yourself in the big wall mirror.

Me: Wow! I really am fat! And I don't look as good doing this stuff as I thought! Wow, how eyeopening!

And to make matters worse there were these totally hot chicks in front of me who had everything: the cute little bodies, the cute clothes (I want purple pants!!) and totally had the moves down cold.

I got through the class though, and without stopping a single time to catch my breath or nurse a stitch. So, y'know, that was good. And the class was full of young, fun people instead of the middle-aged SAHMs or cute little retired ladies that fill the Friday AM class. There was hooting and whooping and noise and I guess I'll probably be back. :)

The whole way home I somehow managed to simultaneously congratulate myself on getting through the class full of energy and berate myself for letting myself get so fat and cry about how very far I have to go. When I got home I went straight into a shower and then watched American Idol with hubby (I promised him a backrub if he'd watch with me. He won't admit it but he actually enjoyed watching. Shh.) while drinking some sparkly pomegrante-flavored water instead of my usual pre-bed, snuggle-time hot cocoa. So I guess that was OK--I didn't submerge my sorrows in the chocolate-hazelnut gelato in the freezer or anything. And today Bek fell asleep before I could get to the Y so I did a weight-training tape here at home.

I just...grr. I just have so far to go.

And I need to change the mirror in my bathroom. That skinny mirror is not doing me any favors because then I just get a shock when I walk past a normal mirror and don't even recognize myself.

But! I stepped on the scale today and it said 174 so I can change my little banner up top there. Yay!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

On My Own, by BarlowGirl

I can't believe that I'm here in this place again
How did I manage to mess up one more time
This pattern seems to be the story of my life
Should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time
Cause I promised myself I wouldn't fall
But here I've fallen
And I guess I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do
Is cry to You

Oh God, You have to save me
You're my last and only hope
All my right answers fail me
I can't seem to make it
On my own

I always thought that I would be strong enough
What made all of them fall couldn't take me down
Yeah, did I think that I was above it all
I have learned that pride comes before the fall
I can't promise myslef that I won't fall
'Cause here I've fallen
And I know I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do
Is cry to You

Friday, January 12, 2007

stuff i eat and do

See over there to the right? Where it says "stuff i ate yesterday" and "stuff i did yesterday"? Well, it used to say "today" instead of "yesterday" but I'm really bad at updating during the day so by the end of the day you'd only see the one thing I had for breakfast. That gave me license to eat whatever I wanted the rest of the day, because I knew I'd never get back to the computer to update until tomorrow.

As you can see, that's pretty much what I did yesterday. Had one slimfast shake and then it all went to hell. :)

So now I'm updating the next day, all at once. I don't know if it will work, because in order to remember what I eat all day long I'm going to have to write it down on paper during the day and I kind of suck at that, but I'll give it a shot. I really want to have that as a tool to show the world what I'm eating. For better or for worse. :)

So after work last night I tried out my Zumba videos. I was up using them until almost 1am. The beginner one is incredibly simple--it just shows the steps that I already knew from taking the class. So if anyone wants a beginner Zumba tape just let me know. But the advanced one was lots of fun, pretty much just like the class.

Oh, which I was too sore to get up for this morning. :)

I try not to miss it because my girlfriend T teaches it and she's awesome and it's fun to do the class in a group but ugh...not today. Today I'm sleeping taking it easy. At least until after work tonight--when I shall Zumba again! :)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

zumba's here!

Whee, my set of Zumba DVDs are here! I'm so excited, I can't wait to break them out of the box. I'm getting ready for hubby's birthday though (he's turning the big 3-0) so they'll have to wait. I do have the song CD that came with it on the little player in my kitchen and I'm dancing as I clean and stuff.

I went grocery shopping today and got my slim-fast. Yay. I didn't go right away this morning so I won't actually start them til tomorrow. Fun fun!! :)

I'd write more but the internets seem to be slow today. :P Yeah, that's a good excuse to get back to my music. :)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

new diet, hooray.

Tomorrow I start back on Slim-Fast. I did it back in September or something and lost weight pretty easily so I think I'll try it again. I know it's not a long-time deal. I imagine at some point I'll have to start eating regular food, and if I'm not careful I'll just gain all the weight back. But I have to do something for a little kick-start. Then in the meantime I'll re-read the South Beach Diet book.

All these diets. You know, I just wish I could just eat whatever I wanted. Who the heck wants to police every little thing that goes into her mouth?! But I guess I just have to deal with the fact that I don't stop eating when I should, and that makes eating "whatever I want" kind of difficult. Maybe if I didn't have to eat everything in sight...

My goal--my far-off goal--is to be able to eat pretty much whatever I want, naturally balancing the not-so-healthy stuff with healthier stuff, stopping when I'm satisfied and not stuffing myself to incomprehension. You know, eat normally.

I'll do day! But for now, bring on the slim-fast. Mmmm, chocolate shake...


Friday, January 05, 2007


Sigh...this is me--about 25 pounds ago. I still had 20lbs to lose but I would kill to be there now. Let's see what else I can find in the computer archives...bear with me because back then all we had was a 35mm camera and the results aren't pretty. ;)

Here is me skinny with cleavage. ;) That's Devy with me. We were at King Richard's Faire and yes, I am dorky enough to have my own costume.

Just not one that fits at this time. ;)
So there you have some pictures of me skinny. After Bek's nap I'll try to scan some really old pictures of me PK--that's pre-kids for you uninitiated. :) *edited to add: check out my photostream at flickr!

By the way, had a great time at Zumba, although I was 20!! minutes late (gah, I hate being late) and I think my lack of sleep took its toll on my energy (y'think?!) and I need to get some decent zumba-ing shoes before I totally twist the bottom half of my leg out of my knee socket. But hey, I sweated and that's what really matters. ;)

***edited again to add:***
OK so I just went and took some pictures of myself. I'm warning you: they're not pretty. There is fat. And stretchmarks. And general yuckiness like that.
Still with me? OK, here am I, 5'2" and 178lbs:

well rested

Haha, see what I did there? I named this post well rested even though I'm not, see, it's funny.

So I stayed up til 5 o'clock in the morning bidding on mp3 players and ended up getting one for $42. That's more than I wanted to pay but still pretty cheap. My thinking was that as the morning went on, people would have to go to sleep eventually (right?!) and the bidding would stay low but that didn't pan out so much. ;) Anyway here it is:

You know, I really hope I didn't get ripped off. I hate buying on ebay. I would much rather pay more to know it's coming from a bona fide website with customer service should something go wrong. But hubby is a big fan of getting things cheaper and I can't really knock that, so here goes. We've bought (and sold) plenty of stuff on ebay and never really had a problem but I'm always worried that this will be the bad one. :)

I'm looking forward to loading it up with tons of workout music for when I'm on the arc trainer at the Y. A couple of my favorite bloggers posted about that very thing, providing me with lots of ideas to mooch off of use.

OK, off to zumba class. I haven't had breakfast; it will have to wait til after unless I grab, like, a cheese stick. I promise it won't be chocolate! ;)


it's almost 2 am and i'm on ebay, trying to get an mp3 player for cheap bucks.

i can barely keep my eyes open.

don't these people have better things to do than bid on electronics at this time of night?

like, sleep?

i don't care. i'll stay up all night if it means getting this thing for less than forty bucks. i'm aiming for 25.

oh, ebayed the zumba dvds earlier. they should be here in a couple of days i hope. came with a cd of the music too, cool.

ok see you bye.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

did you get that memo?

Memo: me
Re: new years' resolutions

This is just a memo reminding you of the new years resolutions made on new year's eve. In light of certain recent events it is evident that you need reminding of a couple of them so here they are again:
  1. No More Junk Food. That means, no picking up a bag of Ghiradelli's Holiday Assortment, even if you promise yourself you will only eat one a day, and only if you have spent the rest of the day eating healthy and exercising. It also means no more Green & Blacks chocolate bars. I don't care if it's the best chocolate you've ever had. I don't care if it does have espresso beans or mexican spices or even if it's organic and helps poor people in Argentina feed their families. We don't need it right now. Chocolate, in all its forms, is dead to us.
  2. Exercise Every Day. That means every. day. Even when you don't have a class to go to or a class to take the girls to. And if the girls are too sick to leave in the childwatch room at the Y then that means you have to get your big butt up early to do a Tae Bo video or something before they wake up. No excuses. Oh, and sex, while fun and occasionally athletic, does not count as your daily exercise. Unless you want to kill our husband in the process which, while he might not mind that method of shuffling off, would leave you to raise your children alone.
  3. Blog every day. I know it can be hard to get this time in because of our precious broken laptop but if you have to put of Bek's nap for a few minutes to get in a post then do it. She'll live, and she likes to watch you type. This is keeping us accountable for what we eat and do and stuff, so get with it!

Now, I understand that you have a big date with the hubby this weekend and it will be hard to follow these things but if you allow the excuses in they will take over so suck it up and do what you're supposed to!

*Oh yeah, I promised pictures a while back didn't I? The batteries in our camera are dead (which wouldn't be a problem if I got the camera I wanted for Christmas but whatever). So, soon. I promise! ;)


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

zumba hey!

So I was all excited about the new Zumba class that started at the Y a few towns over.

"Yay!" said I. "Now I can zumba my butt off twice a week!"

So I went. I got there super late because the class was at 9, Jo gets on the bus at 8:40, and I woke up at 8:20. Not good math.

So I got there at 9:25 (shh, at least I was there) and went to the back of the class. No! I was not shamed for being late (because I pretended I'd just came back from the water bubbler)! I just figured, you know, I've been doing this for a while and these people haven't so I'll let them get a good view. Plus I didn't want anyone fitter and musclier than me to fight me for a spot. :)

So I got there and one of my favorite songs comes on and I start to jam to the beat thinking I know what moves are coming and?! Nothing! I mean, we did do something but it was really...lame!

The whole class (you know, the part I was there for anyway) ended up being like, Zumba for Old People. It was awful! It wasn't even a workout!

So I'm thinkin I'll give the instructor a few weeks to get her act together and go back, see how she's doin.

But in the meantime I am SO thinking, "I could DO this!"

I could teach Zumba!!

No, really! I was already in the back of the class doing all my favorite moves. Why not get up in front of the class and teach everyone else, and get paid for it!

It's something I'm definitely going to look into. I'm not thrilled about the idea of getting up in front of really skinny girls teaching them how to exercise but I just might get over that. We'll see. Plus the workshop is like $200 or something. Hmm...

Monday, January 01, 2007


So...resolutions. I never make 'em. But this year I have a lot of stuff on my mind that I need to change. So here goes--my resolution list of 2007:
  1. No more junk food. I'm addicted. Some people are alcoholics and can never have another drink. Some people are hooked on cigarettes and can never have another smoke. My drug of choice is junk food and I am done with it. Done with it! I heard this funny quote on this resolutions show I watched last night: If you don't put it in, you don't have to take it out! Amen to that! ;)
  2. Prayer and quiet time, every single day. This is my first priority because every aspect of my life improves when I am right with God. So pretend like I put this in the number one spot. That just shows how much of a priority it's been for me lately! :P
  3. Take better care of myself; floss. Call the doctor, the chiropracter, the dentist, the dermatologist. Make those appointments I've been avoiding because I'm afraid of what will come of them. Jeez, what if I died of, like, skin cancer and my ephithet was "If only she'd gotten that mole checked out"?! Gah.
  4. Follow the schedule that is hanging on my fridge and that tells me when to clean, when to play, when to work, when to go to bed, when to exercise. I am so scatterbrained that I start one thing, think of something else I have to do, start that...until I go to bed exhausted but with nothing done. Schedules are a flake's best friend.
  5. Make an effort to be connected to family, friends, everybody. I never call anyone and six months later we finally talk and I am so ashamed when I realize how long it's been since I picked up the damn phone.
  6. Blog every day since it helps me be accountable with my eating, exercising, and all the other resolutions. This will be easier when the part I need for my laptop comes in, whee!
  7. Exercise every day! I am so excited--there is a new Zumba class starting at the Y a couple of towns over so now I get to go twice a week,once at my Y and once at that one. Yay! Abs are hurting and it feels so good! Legs are burning and it feels so goood! ;)
  8. Learn to play my guitar. You know, the one that has been sitting in my closet since I got it for Christmas...two years ago. I don't know how I'll learn--I have no money or time for lessons--but I'm going to learn.

There are plenty more things I need to work on but this will do for now.

Oh, the show I watched last night? It was called resolutionaries or something like that and it featured three people with three coaches, each dedicated to the same resolution. I watched shows on losing weight, getting organized, and quitting smoking, and I came away with some good ideas from each show. Plus before I knew it? It was midnight! And I thought I wouldn't be able to stay up so late.

Man, I'm so old. Hehe.

Do you all have resolutions? What are they?