Monday, December 19, 2005

first post

ok, here it is, my first post.

my original intent for this blog was as a weight-loss tool, more for myself than for the benefit of anyone who might read it. but, since weight loss is generally frowned upon during pregnancy, for now this will be the baby countdown blog. :)

our third baby is due in nine weeks. yay! we don't know what we're having, we don't have a name for the poor child, but we do know we are having a baby, and we're very excited.

this little baby is so blessed to be born into our little family! he or she has two big sisters waiting to welcome him or her into the world.

ok, you know what? i really don't like typing "he or she" and "him or her" so i'm just going to write "him" and "he" all the time. hope you don't mind. and i'm sure if we have a girl, she'll get over it. heck, she doesn't even have to know! :)

this baby has got me more anxious than i was with the first two. i mean, with my oldest it was hard cuz of the whole first-time thing, but i never worried that she would be sick or anything. this pregnancy just seems so different though! i swear i'm smaller than i was the first couple of times, and the baby just doesn't seem to move around as much. i remember getting poked so hard in the ribs, and being able to lay down and watch the baby move and push up against my stomach, but this time is just so much more quiet. hm, maybe we'll have a relaxed, easy baby. that would be nice! :) not that the first two were particularly difficult, mind...

anyway, i can't wait to be done with this pregnancy. i was so excited to get pregnant. of course there was the whole wanting another baby thing, but besides that it was wanting to be pregnant. i remember feeling so great and looking so cute and glowy. not this time! now i just feel huge and sluggish and huge. i can't wait to have my baby in my arms and my body to myself! at least, as much to myself as possible while nursing. lol so in other words not much. nursing a baby is a lot like being pregnant, as far as having your body to yourself goes. and between having two other kids wanting attention and a hubby who wants his, if men ever had to go through what we do, we'd never have to worry about overcrowding.

i'm no manbasher, and i never have been. my hubby is fantastic! i just think things would be a lot different if men had the babies. like, paid paternity leave required, and no one worries about losing a job because of pregnancy. company-sponsored childcare, and qualities required for good childrearing considered excellent benefits to any employee, encouraging dads for promotions. but i guess God certainly knew what he was doing, anyway. i think i'll ask Him about that when the time comes. :)

let's see, more about the reason for this blog. when i got pregnant i had just lost 10 lbs, leaving me at 165 lbs. that's a heck of a lot for someone who's 5 foot 3 on a tall day. my first trimester left me almost ten lbs lighter thanks to nasty nausea, and since then i've gained (dare i even think it?) almost thirty lbs. so now i'm 185. WOW. i told dh that i weigh almost as much as him. it's the most i've ever weighed, in my entire life. i can't even look at myself--well, the not pregnant parts. my big round belly and my humongo boobs aren't bad, but then there are my scary legs or my huge face, ugh!

dh's parents renewed our membership to the y for christmas, bless them. i am so excited. i'm going to be there every day! when we started our membership last winter i was there so much, i thought i was addicted, and i loved it! but then i got preggo and sick, and now i think there is going to be much work to be done. :) that's ok, i'm up for the challenge. unlike so many people who struggle with their weight, i am blessed with a loving husband who has loved me through all my, shall we say, weight fluctuations. it makes a huge difference, having him for support. and then there are the girls. who better to turn to for love and acceptance at any weight then your own kids (well, at least while they're little)? i'll tell you who: God, who is my biggest source of strength. so like i said, i'm ready for the challenge. if you decide to come with me i'll try to make it worth your while. :) i'm a little nervous and self-conscious about posting this trip online for anyone to read, but that's also why i'm doing it: to keep myself accountable to someone, even if that someone is no one i know. :)

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